The Master of Disaster

In europe, many people dont have driers, so after washing their clothes, they hang them up on a metal clothes rack that claps together when not in use. Several months ago, I had hung up a load of freshly washed towels. The room was filled with that lovley aroma of clean wash! I had decided to go out of the appartment with my mother and brother to spend some time in the outdoors. We locked the dogs up in the room containing our fresh clean wash, and left. Little did we know what master of disaster (jake the jack russel terrier) was up to! Apparently he enjoys spening his free time nipping at the clothes hanging from the drying rack. Now this can get quite annoying when he manages to pull one item down. It gets it all dirty but we usually just dust it off and its fine. Well, jake had something different in mind this time. Shitting under the clothes rack seemed like a perfect location to deficate! Mixing that with collapsing clothes rack...not a pretty picture. Needless to say, the lovley fresh sent of clean clothes was gone, and we had to wash the entire load again!

Never Again

Dont ever give you dog a pillow filled with feathers. Even if they look at you with those big innocent eyes...Dont give it to them.

Freyas billboard

Eva and I came the the conclusion that this looks like freya!! Hahaah. She doesnt agree!

Joysie and Jakers say "HI"

These are some if my favorit dog pics!

Sociopath

So Eva and I just picked up Joy from Gerasdorf. Its 12:00 at night, and we pull into a parking spot. I take Joy to go peet at a nearby patch of grass. At that same moment, Eva drops a wine bottle (That she and Gerd had bought...yes, im pretty sure that whole anti alchohol thing of her is a schmee; Lie! Im almost 90 percent sure she drinks with the old man. So anyway, a wine bottle falls on the floor and breaks. I start laughing because the people across the street stared at her in a funny way because Eva had jumped up in te air, and when fat people do that, its looks rather funny. She starts yelling at me at how Im a compleate retard and that im very stupid. Apparently she had just sevearly hurt her toe...broken it, and sliced open her leg, which was bleeding heavily. Funny thing is that I didnt see a drop of blood! She limped up the stairs to the appartment and runs to the bathroom because she had to sterilize it with alchohol peroxide, etc. I go to check on her 30 seconds after she had gone into the bathroom. To my suspicion, the door is locked! From the outside, just by twistig the knob, I was able to open the door and asked ''is everything ok?''. She had apparently just jumped in the shower and when she saw my face peeking in, opened the shower curtain to squirt me. I closed the door until it was a jar and asked her what her problem was through the tiney crack. She reponded by squirting me again and yelling at me. I thought I was just being nice. She gets out a few minutes later, buts on her vlothes, and tells us shes going to the hospital to see a surgeon! I quickly tell her that Ill come and accompany her. At that remark she yells ''NO YOU WONT''. Leon looks confused and askes her ''Why cant she go and help you''? She doesnt respong, limps to the door, and slams it! I run after her and about 2 seconds later I open the door. Well, apparently as soon as she had closed the door, she was able to walk normally again. I wasnt able to run after her because I didnt have my shoes on, and she was gone by then. She calls Leon 5 minutes later and yells at him for an unknown reason. I try calling her 10 seconds after she hung up, and as usual, she doesnt pick up my phone. Now, I have a little suspicion. I never ever saw one drop of blood on her, nor did I see a swollen toe. I know by the speed at which she ran away from the door that it was no big injury. Given the facts above, and the fact that she took a shower right befor hand, I would take a wild guess and say shes went to visit GERD! I find it fucking annoying that she refuses to answer her phone and tell us exacly whats up. Youd think if she went to the hospital, she wouldnt leave her family in the dark...right?! Im guessing shes not coming back tonight. Im seriously fucking tires of being lied at EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!!! Does she not see the negative psychological affects lying can have on peoples children! She of all people should have known this given that shes a psychotherapist. But no, this is all relativley unimportant to her. She doesnt give a damn about that! Pardon for the strong language but I an seriously fed up with this shit. Everytime I ignore it and forget that it ever happened, but this is one time to many. IM FUCKING PISSED OFF AT HER NOW! If she wants so badley to see Gerd, then just tell us. We would like to know when she comes home aswell! If shes at the hospital for the whole night, as she claims, then Leon and I will not be able to sleep all night worrying about how our mothers toe surgery is going. She doesnt care about anyone by herself sometimes! Im just really tired of being ''Verarsched '' by her, as they say in austria. In this scense it means
a combination of ''mocking anf making a fool of''...pretty much shes degrading our intelligence, thinking that we are so retarded as to really believe her stories.
Im sick of this shit. Ive given up any hope that she may infact change, because if anything, its gotten worse throughout the year. She has now shown her true self...the one Kearn always talked about which I thought did not exist. Well, I can now confirm 100 percent, that Eva is a Sociaopath!
Thats is all I have to say right now. Its 1:05. Im going to bed...and NO, shes not home yet!

Its not nice to leave your family in the dark..literally and figurativley!

Freyas last couple days on vacation in Austria in 2011

Let me sum up the last couple of days freya was here.

Freya and I had a boxing match against Leons boxing bag. I think freya won! She did a better job at beatinf it up. I think she has more muscular arms than I. This was floowed by an Absinth photo shoot. I made freya stand infron of the dark open window and flail her arms around so that the picture would be blurred slightly. The neighbors in the apprtment across from us must have though she was sevearly disturbed waving her arms , holding a bottle of alchohol in her hand.

The Next day we walked through the bok wald and saw his house! Im suprised its still standing!

I saw this rabbit sign in the pet store and thought is was hilariouse! The boys himself looks like a bunny!

Freya convinced me into putting on these really hight heels. Her and Eva took a few pictures and we all laughed at the fact that I looked freakishly tall! Freya with high heels on is still not as tall as myself without them! I looked like the giant from harry potter!

One of the days we went to the blind person museum, it was awsome. Its this museum that is compleatly dark. You get a bling person stick and are lead through the entire exhibit by a real blind person! We actually walked through the woods, throught a buisy city street, went on a boat ride, and got drinks at a bar...all while in the pitch dark ''living as a blind person'' museum. Leon, Freya, and I started fooling around and pushing each otherto get infront! We coudnt see anything. After pushing freya, Leon turned around real fast in an attempt to get both of us in one swing! When I recieved the blow to my stomach, I tumbled over, at the same time Leon tripped over my stick which had flown up while I fell. In an attempt to not fall, Leon grabbed onto freya almost pulling her down! Of course I didnt see what happened, I got to this conclusion soley from the screaming voices and thuds I heard throught the experience! I think its fairley accurate though! Here is a picture of us after we got back into the light!

I believe that same night was when we went to Luise Knee's Circus! It was fun seeing the horses perforn tricks and watching the llamas jump over the cames which were sitting on the ground! One of the horses stood up and was towering over my cause we were seated in the first row! I pet it, although it was quite intimidating staring down at me. Freya claimed when they were all running in a circle, that horse shit flew up and missed my face by about 3 inches! I didnt notice, but im glad I didnt get hit!

The following day we went shopping. Eva was supposed to come and meet us their at 11, but as usual, she never came. I had told her the day befor that we were going shopping. At that she replied that She would drop something off at her office at 8 Am and be back by 9AM, i was afraid that might not happen. She assured my that she would come and even promised. Well, her promisses dont mean shit! While at the mall, Freya and I spoke with her several times, each time asking when she would beback from work and to come meet up with us at donauzentrum! During one phone call, she told me that she wasnt aware of the fact that we had gone shopping. ''If you had tld me I would have come'', she said to me. "10 seconds later while talking to freya, she told her that she was sorry for taking this long. Another words she did know she was supposed to meet us their. She lies so much she cant even keep track anymore. Its really a shame! Right when we were done shopping, she came to pick us up. We drove to feed the dogs. We only had an hour to go home, get dresses, and ride the subway to manfred, which takes a long time. Im almost cirtain that she wanted to make us late, because she suggested stopping and going shopping for Leon and herself! Anyway, we finally got to manfreds, and met the whole family. Manfred talked about how his while family could start their own mafia because theirs so many of them! He also suggested to send each of their children to utah, mary a rich mormon, and inherit 1 million dollars. When money gets short, hell just send another one! It was very funny!

One night we went to the beer garden in Prater. Gerd and Romana came with us. Freya had a large pitcher of beer...and so did Gerd!!! Eva didnt see a problem with it, and never called him an alchoholic!! So were were eating and freya and I start taking funny pictures of each other...well, actually it was just me taking pictures of her! We were trying to create a cool blurred light effect, so in order to get one good shot, we had to take many experimental ones. Durring dinner we took many pictures. When we had first gotten their, gerd got angy at Eva and was arguing with her because we didnt find him right away in the huge thousnd person croud. He told us to come to the entrance...which we did, however their are multiple entrances, so he was apparently to retarded to realize that. We walked from entrance to entrance looking for him, and about 15 minutes later, we found him. When we finished dinner, we made our way home by foot through prater. I got some cotton candy, which I like alot. Freya, Eva, and Leon, all played a shooting game.

This was a moor cycle I saw. Its some arab license plate! I found it interesting.

One day wa also took the Vienna Airlines Praer flier. Its a simulated aircraft that takes you though Vienna. Its a virtual experience like that of the ''Magic Bus'' that used to be here. It moves the cabin around, you feel wind in your face, etc. It very neat!

The last day we all went to Stadionbad. Freya and I wanted to go in the wave pool, but by the time it started gain at the hour, we had already been aout of the water for a while and didnt feel like getting back in. Eva dissapeared for an hour and we waited for her. She is a master at dissapearing for hours on end!

We then went to the Praterfee beer garden resteraunt. Leon and freya jumped on the trampolines while romana and Eva talked. I just sat their watcing freya do back hand springs and flips. The table next to us were watching her aswell in aww! After that freya and I met Manfred at the riesen rad cause he had a package for kearn. We walked home and that was the end of the day!

Freya, Have a Safe Flight

Freya left Austria. We all ate breakfast together and talked. The time passed and we had to take Freya to the airport- We stood in line together and checked her bags. She needed a name tag, so i snuck my way through the line to get one. As I made my way back to Freya, Eva and, Leon, who where in the middle of the line, people looked at me as though they thought I was pushing my way ahead of them and skipping to the front. when that was all done, Eva, Leon, Freya, and I made out way to the gate. We said goodbye to each other and asked an asian man to take a picture of us! We hugged and Freya then departed int the terminal.

Eva, Leon, and I then went to the resteraunt and ate a little something as we watched the airplanes taking off into the sky. We didnt stay to see Freya's go because that would have ment we would have had to stay another hour their waiting. We decided to go to Billa and buy Kearns favorite coffee, Jacob's Monarch and send off a package (with other goodies as well). That was followed by us going to media markt to buy a few USB's. Leon was dropped off at home to spend the day with friends of his while Eva and I went to the flower store to buy some plants to bring to Gerasdorf. We fed and played with the dogs. Jake even went over to play with Rambo (german sepherd next door). I was suprised Rambo didnt hurt him. They played gentley...it was really sweet! Jake helped eva with the gardening by digging a large hole!

On the way home in the evening we stopped at the movie place and returned ''Love and other Drugs'' and got ''eat prey love'', and another movie which im about to watch now after i finish this posting.We are all a bt sad that Freya left us.

Hope you come back soon Freya...and Kearn, that goes for you too!

Love always, Your Sassilein.

P.S. Freya claims ''The Woodpecker'' sounds retarded, so I may be changing the name soon!

RIP Oma - bernhardstahl Funeral

Today we attended Omas funeral in Bernhardstahl, Austria. We got up at about 8, got ready, and met everyone at the cemetary at 11 O'Clock. Omas closest relatives from Burgenland were their. The ceremony started with a song fron the chior, followed by a speach by a religious catholic woman, and then a man read out loud a few paged that Eva, and Romana had written about Omas life. I heard a few old women crying next to me whom I didnt recognize. I figured they were just old family memberes whos faces I had forgotten. Later on it turned out that they were just old women who live in Bernhardstahl that like to ''Crash'' funerals. The fact that they were crying was bizaar given the fact that they didnt even know her! Another song was sung, then we all watched as Oma was carried and lowered into her grave above Opa. The two are once again reunited. Everyone dropped a rose and said their goodbyes. Gerd was the photographer, and I swear he was like a ghost. Once second he was beside us, the next he was lurking behing a grave 50 feet away taking pictures of everyone.

We went over to ''Donis'' and had Schnitzel and mixed salad which was delicious! Oma would have loved it! We set up pictures of er befor the funeral so everyone could see the wonderful memories of her! During dinner evas cousin asked me how we were associated with the photographer. Not knowing how I should respond (I dont think Eva wants people to know shes with such an old man) I simpally said, hes an aquiaintance of ours. That little white lie seemed to have worked.

Freya and I got bored of the small talk, so we left early and went down to the house. Freya went into ''Obsessive Weeding Mode'' and decided she wanted the dig up the roots of the bamboo. Lets just say we spent 2 hours...possibly even longer, digging, with not much progres! To kill bamboo. you need about 5 strong men to just dig a whole around it and lift up the entire patch of sticks and roots that have grown from the ''Cute little plant'' (this is what Eva reffered to it when she first plated it! Leon stayed in the car for a large majority of the time, and Eva, Romana, and Gerd walked down to the lake. They came back for 5 minutes and the left, without telling any of use where their were going. All three of them have cell phones, and none answered out calls!! And hour and a half later, after laying in the front yard waiting for them, desperatly having to pee, they walk up nice and slowley! It pissed me off! While we waited, Mr. and Mrs. Buresch came and talked to us a little! Thats man really loves his Harley Davidson Bike!

We departed soon their after and, as Gerd came by our car to say goodbye, I willingly, for the first time, gave him my hand to shake fairwell: an act of kindness. What he didnt know was that my hand was filthy dirty with dried mudd from digging up the bamboo plant! AHHH, it was my way of showing him just how much I care! Freya and I laughed about it in the car ride back to Wien!!


Yesterday we took a tour bus ride. Freya fell asleep on the bus, almost dozing of more on more than one occasion! These stinky indian people were sitting infront of us. They smelled so putrid that the bus drived made them get off befor the tour ended!!!

We then went to the ''12 Apostils'' underground cellar resteraunt! I love it, cause its just a really neat/interesting atmosphere! Freya and I were playing this game where we make retarted faces at each other and try not to laugh first. We were cracking up cause people kept stairing at us like we were morons! It was hilarious! Ill upload some pictures later!

We went home after that and watched ''Love and other Drugs'', a film about a pharmaceutical Rep.

I gave Freya a massage, and as usual, didnt get one in return!

It was a nice two days!

Love always, the Woodpecker and my guest, Freyafein!

Oberlaa Therme

Today started out by us meeting up with leon and some of his schools mates (and their families) at the luftburg. It was the last day of school and he recieved his grades. He dot at least four D's! His grades were terribale and the worst part about it is that Eva was praising him. She always says school in europe is harder than in virginia. This may be the case for some Virginia schools, but for Yorktown High School this isnt the case! Its in the top 50 schools in the USA! I studied my ass off during high school and it had helped me alot! The hard curriculum isnt fun, but it teaches the student to work for what they want. Leon is obviously not learning this if Eva praises his bad grades. I can understand it to one degree though. Universities here in Austria are all public and FREE! They accept everyone no matter what grades they have as long as they have a high school Diploma! Its a pretty unique system. Good in some ways but bad in others. For example, i had a 3.8 GPA in High School, yet I cannot just go the university here...even though I am an Austrian! I must take tests first and get
Many documents notorized which just cost time and money!

I digress, we met up and ate spareribs at the resteraunt. Freya and I went off afterwards to let the dogs run at the dog park/woods again. We ran into a women and her little shitzu. She was very scared when joy approched but saw that joy was a friendly dog so she let her shitzu off the leash. She went to pet Joy and complimented her sweet gentle personality. She says she is usually scared of german shephered because they are agressive. Her dog was once thrown up in their air by a GSD and trown across the ground!
Afterwards we went to Gerasdorf to drop the dogs off, them on the drive back went shopping. Freya got a bathingsuit and I got leggings. Eva bought table place mats and some other goodies! At home we packed up our belongings and headed to the Oberlaa Therme Wien. We had one hour befor closing time. We explored the inside cave therme with eva She then took a break and freya and I went in the outside pool (they are heated like hot tubes). Freya was aproached by these two drunk guys. They talked to her for a While, not noticing that she was slowley creeping away! Towards the end of the conversation they said that she looked like a porn start with big boobs! They called to her as they were leaving "I search you!" their english was horrible what tzey were trying to say was that they would search for her on facebook. In the locker room (which is shared by males and females...their are however individual changing rooms) freya overheard them repeatedly spelling out her name as not to forget it! Its was very funny!

Freya and Sassi at the Dog Park

Yesterday freya and I took Joysie and Jake to the dog park. They ran arround and had a blast. We enjoyed the day walking through prater. Joy tends to listen to freya quize well! I wanted to take the lillyput bahn but freya said we should save the money. I think ill force her on it though befor she leaves. At about four oclock we went home to cook dinner. I locked myself out Of the appartme t, so freya and I tried cLling over joy to encourage her to jump up and open the door from inside. It was of no avail! Frau kati mirich had a key though, but we were not able to leave for about 45 minutes after aski g for a key. She was very happy to see freya. For about 90% of the time, she was i sulting me about raising my dog, my hairstyle...or lack their of, my passive personality, etc. Freya found it humerouse...however I did not. Had the roles been reversed, i probobly would have laughed as well! Finally we were able to get out, buy food at hofer and billa, and get back home. We cooked Hackfleisch mit bohnnen (chopped meat with green beans) AKA "jessi's meal. We think she inovated this meal from another recipe. Why do we think this you may wonder. Well, lets just start wih this. Normal recipes call for an average amout of tomato sauce. Jessi's recipe however, calls for a shitload of ketchup! While talking to eva on the phone and telling her the ingrediants, i couldnt help but laugh at the fact that she wasnt eager to join us for dinner. When she did finally make it back from work, she made a disgusted face, or what we like to call, a Kaka face! I dont think she liked it! By this time it was late at night, and freya and I did a boxing photoshoot! This turned into me taking pictures of freya with her bottle of absinth. I made she wave her
Hands in the air aswell as shake the bottle to get a blurred look on the camera. The
Color of the absinth is really great to take pictures with!
We barley saw leon today! We also took a peak at evas ACT Photoshoot!

Follow by Email

If you all look on the side bar, you can follow my blog and get email updates whenever I post, so you wont always have to check. Feel free to submit your email.

Bernhardstahl - Sand Strand Wien

On Monday we went to Bernardstahl. The house was insanley overgrown, but Freya, Eva and I managed to get it looking better in a matter of hours. Freya onsessive compulssive weeding was a large contributor. She weeded non-stop untill teh job was done...and let me tell you, their were alot of weeds!!! Eva helped the least and spent a fair amount of time down by our neighbors house (Martin) drinking coffee. I dont blame her though, older people shouldnt have to do the hard labor! We found many a snails and even played with them! They really are cute! We now have a coloney of five toads living in our garden. They are adorable! Anyway, we saw the old Buresch outside and he said out front garden looks overgrown like in Africa! Jake escaped and ran away from us. Freya and I chased him down the block. We later went down to the lake and he once again ran away...this time almost illegally crossing the border into the Czech Republic!!! Freya and I trapped him in a little side street he had gone into and caught him their. Hes a little rascale. their is lots more we did today, but Leon and Eva are nagging me to give them the laptop, so i have to cut it shorter and leave out much detail and facts. Ill try to add them later though!

The next day was not very well planned. We were on our way to Bernhardstahl when Eva got a call from her boss. We were half way their, but had to turn arround becasue of her work. We never made it their, but in the evening, Freya and I went to the Donauinsel and ate at a Greek resteraunt, and then went to the Sand Strant (sandý Beach) in austria. We had a nice time. Freya had a couple alchoholic beverages and made me take photos of her in the subway acting wierd...but thats freya!!!

Meeting Gerd

Today Freya, Eva, Leon and I went into an exhibit entitled ''Colours of South Africa''. It was somewat interesting. We sat in a large ornate old building whith the lighted dimmed and listened as an african women told folk tales from her town. One was how thunder and lightning came to be. Thunder was the mother sheep, and lightning was the lamb who always caused trouble by catching things on fire. That is why thunder always follows lightning (the mother sheep always yells at the lamb when it causes trouble). We listened for a while and made our way through the exhibit. While their, we met up with Tante Romana and Tante Ressi (omas older sister...shesa very nice old woman). After the exhibit, we all sat at an imbisstand and had some beveraged and snacks. Gerd, Evas new boyfriend of the past year, came to join us. I like to call him GERD which stands for (Gastroesophageal reflux disease) which is practically what he inflicts on me. Lets just say I dont like him. hes 20 years older than Eva, which I just find scarey! It started raining, so we made our way into the nearest museum (the childrens museum). Tons of people were their also taking coverage from the rain. We were all sitting talking (Eva, Romana, Ressi, Freya, and I) when we noticed Gerd taking pictures of us from afar. Hes a photographer/artist. He wasnt taking it in a regular fashion though. He was holding the camera at the level of his belt...a peerfect perspective if wanting to catch pictures looking up people nostrils. very cleaver. Oh yeah, Tante Ressi wanted to see a sand sculpture, which we went too. It was awsome. Very creative indeed!

The day befor Eva and I had gone to a lake in the near vescinity to Gerasdorf. It was beautiful weather, sadley we didnt have out bathingsuits with us. I dipped my feet in the water, and waided up to my ankles. It didnt take long befor I had the brilliant idea of throwing jake in the water to see how he liked it. He plopped in and swollowed a gulp af water and started coughing. Luckily it wasnt harmed though. I dint think ill be throwing jake in the water any more!